The Investor Phrasebook

Honestly, I never want to call myself a Venture Capitalist.

Half the time, I don't even understand their jargon. Most investors come from financial backgrounds, but I ditched my banking career at Interbank ages ago — those kinds of conversations just aren't my thing. I started as a management trainee in 1995, won an award for pioneering internet banking in Turkey, and then walked away from all of it because I wanted to build things, not finance them from a distance.

After talking to thousands of founders over 26 years — through Etohum, Startup Istanbul, and now Startupist Ventures Fund — I'm sure I've miscommunicated with quite a few of them myself. But here's what I've learned: investors often don't say what they mean. They say one thing and mean something entirely different.

So, in true self-defense, I put together an investor phrasebook. A translation guide from VC-speak to plain English.

The translations

"We'd like to stay in touch."

Translation: Not interested right now. But if you make waves, we'll circle back and claim we were supportive all along.

I've been on both sides of this one. As an investor, "staying in touch" sometimes genuinely means we see something but the timing isn't right. But nine times out of ten? It's a soft no. Founders: if an investor says this without proposing a specific next step — a date, a milestone, a trigger — it's a no.

"You're too early for us."

Translation: We're waiting for someone else to take the risk first.

Marc Wesselink, co-founder at Venturerock, dropped a stat in the comments of my LinkedIn post that puts this in perspective: only 10% of VCs in Europe are led by former tech founders. In the US, it's over 60%. When an investor who has never built anything tells you you're "too early," what they often mean is they can't evaluate what you've built because they've never built anything themselves.

"You need a stronger team."

Translation: Not confident in your abilities. They want pre-packaged success — a team that's already done this exact thing before at a name-brand company.

"Who else is involved in the round?"

Translation: We don't want to lead. We need a bigger name to piggyback on their due diligence.

Stuart Bernstein nailed this in the comments: it literally means "we need to know if there's a bigger firm so we can ride their homework." This is one of the most frustrating dynamics in venture. Everyone wants to follow. Nobody wants to go first. At Startupist Ventures Fund, I write $50K–$200K first checks precisely because someone has to break this cycle.

"You should consider bootstrapping."

Translation: Do all the hard work yourself. Then, once you've figured it out, we'll swoop in for the upside.

In my book, I tell the story of Turkish founders who had no choice but to bootstrap — there were no VCs in Turkey in 2001. No garages like Silicon Valley. They worked from kitchen tables and bedrooms. Halil from eBebek sold his house to buy domain names. They didn't bootstrap by choice. They bootstrapped because nobody believed in them yet. And then, after they proved it worked, suddenly everyone wanted in.

"We need to see a clear path to revenue."

Translation: Only interested once you've already figured out the hard part — the money part.

"We need to conduct due diligence."

Translation: Looking for reasons to say no with a clean conscience.

"Please find a lead investor."

Translation: We want someone else to do the heavy lifting and take the first step.

"We see a lot of potential here."

Translation: Not knowledgeable enough to judge the specifics. Waiting for external signals that confirm what they can't assess themselves.

"We're passing on this opportunity, but it's about fit."

Translation: It's not about fit. It's about you. They don't believe in the founder, the product, or the market — but "fit" is a word that doesn't burn any bridges.

Dan Bowyer, a partner at SuperSeed VC, put it perfectly in the comments: "It's not me. It's you."

"YES"

Translation: Interested, but don't pop the champagne yet. There are a million questions, terms, conditions, and committees between "yes" and an actual wire transfer. As Chris Tottman from Notion Capital added: "Come back to us at $80K MRR" often means "I doubt it'll get there, but if it does, I'd like to tick my boxes again... before saying no again."

Why this matters

I'm sharing this not to bash investors. I am one. I probably use some of this language myself — I'm honest enough to admit that.

I'm sharing it because founders lose months chasing maybes. They replay investor meetings in their heads, parsing every word for hidden encouragement. They hold off on plan B because they think plan A is "still alive." And by the time they realize the soft no was always a no, they've burned through runway they'll never get back.

Dan Gray, Head of Insights at Equidam, explained it well: coded language is a symptom of the fact that venture capital is a relationship game, so everybody deals in inconsequential platitudes. The possibility of risking offense just isn't worth it.

Your time is the most expensive thing you have. Don't spend it translating.